|Harvest Moon just after dusk September 19th.|
It is, I think, because I do not understand everyone's need to hurry. As though time were not already zipping by at an incredible rate, there seems a constant clamoring for the next thing; the next event, holiday, season, year, I phone version, the list just goes on and on. As a culture, our attention span is shrinking even faster than the Earth's rapidly depleting natural resources. That is a frightening thought on many fronts. There are times when I just want to make it all stop. Not long term, mind you, but I would like to have time to savor some of the fleeting moments of my life. My Eternal Now wont stay still long enough for me to recognize it as now rather than yesterday, the past, the already been there and done that. I do not want to hurry any more. I want to once more find that rhythm that accompanies this planet on Her journey around the Sun. I want to respond to and live within the seasons, with the cycles of creation, birth, growth, age and death that are embodied therein. I need to feel the tug of the Moon as she waxes and wanes, engendering tides of creative energy, reflective peace and new beginnings in my soul. I know that I have lived this way before. I have only to remember how to disengage from the madness of contemporary life, to turn from outward obsession to inner contemplation.
The Autumnal Equinox is not yet twenty-four hours old as I write this —Alban Elfed to those of us of Druidic inclinations (and by other names; Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair, etc) —and I am trying to find that place within me that can not only embrace the season, but to feel its ancient currents and manifestations deep within. I noted in my last post that there seemed to be a great deal, even more than usual I think, of anticipation for Fall this year. Despite wanting to hang on to Summer just a little longer, I have felt this too. Also, most of my household seem to be thrumming with a not pleasant, but demanding and anticipatory, energy for the past week. Our sleep around here has been restless, interrupted by strange dreams and physical discomfort. My own mood has been heavy, unwieldy and almost impossible to interpret. I suppose that I was hoping that the day would pass and it would begin to lighten up. As I write this I feel quite wretched though, without any real reason, but perhaps with some still unknown or unacknowledged purpose.
|Moonrise through the Rose Arbor.|
I do not know for certain. I am not sad exactly at the present. This entire year has been quite harrowing—difficult in ways manifest and spiritual. I regard the next month or two to come with a wee bit of apprehension. But I think that this is more habit than any actual precognition. If I am cognizant of any probable future at present, it is seemingly on a much larger scale. I feel something looming, for good or ill I haven't a clue, but since it seems to me that the Mass Consciousness has so assiduously been courting the Fall season, it may very well be something that is at least positive on the surface. I choose to wait and see.
|To this.... Hooooooooooo|
On other fronts, I have stayed busy as usual. The yard is not growing quite as fast, but still occupying us for hours every week. I have planted two figs and a guava in the yard on the garden end, and a new oleander out by the driveway. I am in the process of freshening mulch, expanding some beds, and always pulling weeds. The pear tree in the yard has yielded a good crop this year of hard golden brown fruits.
|Asian or Sand Pear (Pyrus pyrifolia)|
It is what my mother calls a sand pear. The fruits are very hard, a bit grainy and not as sweet as conventional pears. They are irregularly shaped and inclined to be lumpy looking. Many people do not like them for eating raw, but I have to say that their crispness appeals to me. I find them quite tasty. Mostly though, they are used for preserves, jams and pie fillings. I made a double batch of jam late last week and will be making a gingered pie filling later on this week. And I will still have pears to spare.
Now that I have lived through another Summer, through the transition into Fall, and as the moon which hung so large and lit the nights like daylight a few days ago wanes, I look forward to this new season with both trepidation and delight. I know that it must seem that I am rather gloomy (I can be) and pessimistic oftentimes as I write these posts, but that is not really the case. I am realistic though, and I seek to be truthful to myself and to my readers.
Let me say that I try not to make suppositions as to what the future will bring, but that in spite of myself I do often expect the worst, only because that has too often been the case, but I also hope for the best. And where there is hope, there is always a ray of sunshine waiting to pierce the clouds. So, I leave you today, not only with any blessings I am capable of bestowing, but with my best wishes also, and with Hope...